Random observations on my first day of freedom from school

Soccer practice being doomed again. I am failing all over the place at making soccer a thing anybody does anything but loathe with every fiber of their beings.  Today's version of events involved hail.  Its the hail fail.  Enough of that.

Carpocolypse Now?  You must mean Carpacolypse WOW!!! A few weeks ago I was raving that we needed traffic cops at Snow King and Virginian/Scott Lane.  Today I saw my dream in action.  And I think the only thing is proved is that its a good thing for humanity that I am not a traffic engineer of any sort.  Traffic was suddenly backed up East bound too? But I do think it was still a faster ride West?  Perhaps its just Carpocolypse (Or Carmageddon, I'm forgetting what it turned out to be?)  is just going to get worse.  I'm just planning on not driving in it if I can help it.  Its odd that I am in it at all.  The worst of it just unluckily coincides with soccer practice. Oh well.  Maybe the JHDP will make it work better as they go.  They were giving it a valiant go anyway and I suppose it couldn't get any worse?  Luckily my iphone is loaded with Bruce Springsteen music just for such occasions! 

Today's moment of adorable brotherly love.  

So I was out in front of our place cleaning up the leavings of the winter.  As I was pondering the fact that I am still cleaning up dozens of piles of dog shit every spring despite the fact that my dog has been dead for two years,  the boys were playing.  Sully had figured out that when he bear hugged Eli, he could lift him up and carry him around.  Ok that's cute and sweet, but were on pavement and Eli is already prone to bonking his noggin, so I put the ke-bash on that.  But Sully, in his usual fashion did not heed the direction and kept doing it.  Strike one, strike two... yer out! Off to time out he goes.  He takes it like a champ.  He's done the crime, he'll do the time.  Fine, fine, fine.  

Eli, in an act of solidarity decided he would join him and sat down defiantly next to his brother.  Where they proceeded to giggle for the remainder of the sentence.  

Sully and the Boss

We went for a drive tonight and were singing along to songs as we often do n the car. Sully requested a Springsteen song called "Land of Hope and Dreams". It's one of my favorites so he hears it a lot and its got a chorus about a train so it's no wonder he likes it. He doesn't know the name of it so he tried singing it so I could figure out what song he was asking for. The song is basically about a train that carries anyone who seeks God, it's an inclusive kind of train- carries Saints and sinners, winners and losers, fools and kings and whores and gamblers, you get the idea-

anyway so Sully asks for the song about "the train that carries losers and horses"

 I love that kid! And I don't have to explain what a whore is just yet!!

CHICKEN: A PRIMER

(I wrote this up for a friend of mine, and then had a hard time emailing it for some reason, so I am posting it here-I'm not trying to be the next food network star or anything!) 

Chicken is a staple around here.  Its cheap, its easy and its extremely versatile.  If you can get the hang of it (Easy to do), then the fam will think you’re amazing when in actuality it’s extremely easy and requires so little effort.

BUYING

I buy roasting or frying chickens.  They are way cheaper than buying chicken breasts, thighs or wings.  It’s usually around $6 (maybe less where you live since it’s a bigger area).  I’ve noticed that sometimes the “frying” chickens are a bit cheaper, but there’s no difference as far as I can tell. 

A lot of times these are marked down for quick sale because I think people don’t buy whole chickens very often.  When I see them marked down, I buy a bunch and stick them in the freezer.  De-thawing takes a bit of planning- and this is where I usually mess up.  I’ll plan to make a chicken on Monday and then forget to get it out of the freezer…it takes a day or two to thaw out in the fridge.  

GETTING IT READY

Once its thawed there’s a bunch of different ways to prepare it.  The simplest way is to just stick it in a pot and cook it.  I usually stick it in the oven at like 3:30-4 and its done around 5:30-6.  I like to cook it at 325-350.  You can do higher if you have less time.  You’ll get the hang of seeing how long it takes at various temps the more you do it.

I use a dutch oven- easily one of my favorite kitchen things.  If you don’t already have one, I highly recommend it . They are kind of expensive- but it will last forever.  Plus they come in fun colors to match your personality:  I have a red one!

You could also use a roasting pan like you’d use for thanksgiving.  Whatever works! I saw someone on Pintrest using a bunt cake pan and a glass casserole dish and thought that was clever.

It’s a good idea to put a wire rack in the bottom of the pan/pot so the bottom of your chicken is not greasy and soggy.

SALT IS KEY.  The only thing a chicken really needs is salt.  Salt is a flavor enhancer so if you do nothing else- salt it.  Just rub the salt all over that naked bird.  (Pepper is useful too, but Sully has like super spidey senses with pepper and won’t eat anything with it, so for now I skip it or use it very sparingly so he doesn’t notice.)

***SUPER STEATHLY NINJA JEN MOVE***

Fancy salt is your friend.  At our grocery store (SMITHS) you can buy little containers of fancy salt where you buy bulk olives.  Its cheap and it goes a long way.  When I don’t have time for much else, I use this stuff and Mike thinks I’m some genius of the kitchen

OTHER SIMPLE FLAVOR ENHANCERS

Onions

Garlic

Celery (Celery is a major good chef secret it adds amazing flavor to everything)

Carrots

NOTES ABOUT VEGETABLES

Simple time limited thing to do: Throw them in the pot and cook them with the chicken

Fancier, more time thing to do:  Chop them up, salt them and sauté them in oil or butter before you throw them in the pot.  This just unlocks more of the flavor.

The super luscious awesome thing to do (which is actually ridiculously easy when you get the hang of it): 

BRINE THAT BIRD!!

A bit on brining-  Look up a basic brine recipe.  There are about 10 million variations out there- they are fun to play with but just focus on the simple basic idea of it and you’ll never go back to not brining!

Brining is just a salt bath.  Remember, salt is a flavor enhancer; so soaking the bird in salt water is going to give that bird a TON of flavor (and it will be crazy moist).

You can add other stuff to the brine to add more flavor….celery, onions, carrots, herbs etc.  You can use vegetable scraps too… (more on that later on).  Citrus is also awesome in chicken-orange or lemon slices or peels etc. 

This was last turkey day's brine- a bit fancier than a regular week's chicken brine.  But it was good!

You want your bird to soak in the fridge for at least a day---advance planning, I know BUT if you are defrosting a frozen chicken- guess what??? BRINE THAT BIRD while it thaws… boom!

I have this big container that I use to brine my bird, but a big bowl covered tightly works fine too.

When its done brining-  RINSE it and then dry it off with paper towels.  This will wash off the excess salt.  You won’t need any other seasonings.

OIL/BUTTER/BACON

Chicken dries out so some sort of fat is a good idea to keep it moist while it cooks.  The easiest thing to do is to just drizzle oil over the top of the bird or lay some bacon over it like a blanket.  If you use butter the best thing to do is to put the pats of butter under the bird’s skin.  A half a stick of butter is probably about right? 

Don't be afraid to get close and personal with your bird!

OK- That’s the basic chicken tutorial—but here is why I REALLY love making chicken!!

So I make a chicken, usually early in the week.  We eat chicken for dinner with something simple as a side.  Veggies, salad, whatever. 

I then put the chicken, still in the pot- in the fridge.  Then over the course of the next week we usually have at least one more chicken centric dinner—TACOs, CHICKEN ALFREDO, whatever, the possibilities are endless right?  Sometimes I make chicken salad for sandwiches for lunch… whatever works!

To do this, you’ll have to get your hands dirty.  I basically just get the bird out of the pot and onto a big cutting board, then I cut off all the meat I can, then I use my hands to get all of the bits off the bones….Sounds gross, but its actually pretty therapeutic!

I’m going to tear that bird apart!

THEN… oh yes, there’s more!! I throw the bones and the gross inedible parts of the bird into a big soup pot.  To this, I add vegetable scraps and a little salt (you’ll add more as you go so take it easy on the salt in the beginning) I cover that with water and simmer it on the stove for a while and bam!  You’ve got homemade stock- that will REALLY make people love your cooking!!!  (if I don’t have time that week to make stock,  I just throw everything in a bag and freeze it for later).

You’ll know it’s done by its color and flavor- add salt if you need it, a little at a time!).  I can’t really explain what you’re looking for, but it will smell and look good. The longer you simmer it, the richer the flavor becomes.  When you’re done with it, just strain and discard the vegetables and chicken bones. 

VEGETABLE SCRAPS?? (Remember you can use these in the brine too!)

Vegetable scraps I keep in a bag in the freezer until I need-- Peels, butt ends of carrots, Onions that are getting gross and can’t be used etc…. pretty much anything (except beans and stuff like broccoli- that’s no good for this)

Now, you can use that stock for a ton of stuff—the base for soups, sauces etc.  You can cook pasta or rice in it for massive flavor.  You can also freeze it. I’ve heard of people freezing it in ice cube trays so they can use just a little bit over time.  Really whatever works again!!!

I let it cool in the fridge- a layer of fat with form on the top of it overnight.  I usually scoop that off and throw it out- unless I’m making a rich soup (fat is bad, but its also flavor so sometimes its good to keep some of it)

Chicken is like jazz music—learn the basics and then you’re free to come up with a million variations on the theme!

GOOD LUCK!! Let me know how it turns out!! And if the first one isn’t great, TRY AGAIN!!!! 

Sunday wildlife excursion.

45 minutes: a big horn sheep animal jam, 3 moose (2 bull, 1 cow), deer, enormous herds of elk and bison, a bald eagle and the bluest skies to contrast the fresh powder? Perfection.

How Sully Managed To Get An Early Christmas Present

We've had suspicions that Sully was going to be a math whiz for some time.  Now that he's in kindergarten- this part of his brain has just exploded and now he spends considerable amounts of time counting, making patterns, pointing out symmetry and figuring out simple equations in his head.

It started with your basic addition and subtraction and we'd quiz him on what seemed to be age appropriate questions- but it became obvious in about 2 seconds that he had those down, so we kept going and low and behold he kept figuring out the answers-easily.

Soon he was asking questions that indicated he was interested in multiplication,  so we explained that concept to him and he took right to it.  He even get the concept of multiplying by 0.  I know that's not a complex concept,  but he's 5, and we only had to explain it to him once- he got it just like that.

So anyway- the kid likes math.  Which brings me to the abacus.  Sully has had this abacus since he was like one.  Its a piece of crap, made in a sweatshop type of thing.  Its been broken for a long time, down from 10 rows of 10 to 8 wobbly rows,  but he still uses it- a lot.

So we bought him a new one for Christmas- a nice high quality one from Plan Toys.  It arrived Thursday and I wrapped it and stuck it under the tree.

The next day- while playing with the abacus-another row bit the dust.  Mike told Sully the abacus had to go and put it in the trash.  Que the epic meltdown.

Sully doesn't do well when any toy breaks and has to go-  we deal with this a lot.  But this one was a bit more severe than usual.  We tried to calm him down and told him that maybe a new abacus would arrive for Christmas.  This gave him pause.  But then the tears and the wailing came back.  Choking and blubbering the way kids do, he managed to blurt out the most compelling argument to give him an early Christmas present ever known to man....

"But I won't be able to count and add really big numbers until Christmas!!!"  

Mike and I instantly melted- are you freaking kidding me with this kid?  Unbelievable!  So-Sully got to open a present early.  The look on his face when he saw the new abacus was priceless,  and hysterically- he instantly identified the features that made the new abacus superior to the old one and the math fun continued.  This morning he determined how many letters were in the alphabet and discovered that 25 x 4 is equal to 10 x 10 -  tomorrow he'll probably master the quadratic formula!

The other morning, I showed him how to use a calculator- then he disappeared to play with it!

CASA DEL SOL: ROADKILL CAFE EDITION

Oh you dumb delicious bird.

We live on a steep hill.  That's kind of an understatement.  Our house is built into the side of Snow King Mountain, the town of Jackson below, the forested side of a mountain above.  Its an interesting place to live.  I spend a fair amount of time watching birds.  Mostly ravens, magpies, flickers and finches and the occasional hawk and owl (usually heard not seen).   But in early September a new bird started making the scene: A grouse (actually 2 to 4 of them!).    

I don't know a lot about birds, other than that I enjoy watching their dramas and shenanigans unfold.  I do know that the grouse is a notoriously stupid bird.  Much like their chicken cousin, they seem to be content just walking around oblivious to the world around them. I was able to walk extremely close  before they noticed my presence.  (I did see it take a short flight to jump off the hill and perch in a tree). They were fun to watch, but I assumed they would not last long since our street is on the regular route  of mid-Jackson's more independent dogs.  I was sure it was only a mater of time until Buster the lovable Pine Drive mutt had a tasty meal to enjoy. Such is the nature of living in quasi civilization.   

But little did I expect that the mutts eating that stupid bird would be us. Until this happened.

  

This was the crime scene on my sidewalk.  A preliminary investigation determined that the bird had taken a tumble down the steep hill next to my house and landed head first on my sidewalk. The time of death was not exact but I am confident to have narrowed it down to a 15-20 minute window.   

Look, I'm not judging. This scenario could easily play itself out with me someday.  I once came very close to meeting my maker from electrocution while washing the dishes (true story).  Another time I nearly squashed all of my innards taking a spectacular fall snowboarding down the bunny hill at Snow King. The reason?  I wasn't paying any attention to my movements down an icy, icy hill because I was instead furiously pondering the delightful Spanish expression "de todos modos".  I felt real empathy for this stupid, stupid bird, because I am in fact, a stupid, stupid bird,  just one misstep away from oblivion myself.   De todos modos indeed. 

After the obligatory poking of the dead thing with a stick and our feet (I live in a world of boys).  We returned to the civilized confines of our house, where the meat in the fridge was killed the way the good lord intended- at factory farms by industrial equipment.  I shared the carnage on Facebook.  As for the dead bird on the sidewalk I was hoping to see some awesome raptor swoop in and have a tasty feast while I got to watch my own version of the Nature Channel.   Naturally, I knew that people eat these things.  I live in Wyoming,  even my liberal, socialist, eco-nazi leaning friends tend to get giddy at the prospect of bagging a moose or an elk and feasting on the gamey awesomeness all winter long. I respect that and rejoice when gifts of frozen wildlife end up in my hands (and then my belly).  But this life is not for me.  I buy my meat at the store, cleaned and not at all resembling the thing it was when it was amongst the living. 

And then the world of social media egged me on to do this:

Ok, ok so there was a dead bird in my freezer.  There are usually lots of dead birds in my freezer, or at least their dismembered body parts begging to be coated in delicious seasonings and served with a side of vegetables.  But this one still had feathers, and a face, and really, really big claws.  And now my inflated ego from showing off on Facebook had just gotten a little too real.

So, in my typical fashion, I figured out a way to pass the buck!  Enter my brother Jeff. At the time of the bird's death Jeff was traveling towards Texas, en route to his home in Alaska, with a stop in Wyoming planned for the next week.  All of that really makes sense, you can take my word on that.  He'd mentioned he thought about raising chickens in Alaska and so naturally I egged him on to test his chicken farmer skills out on the dead bird I was now being expected to eat.  Luckily, being made of the same genetic material,  Jeff fell for my ploy and agreed to the challenge.  Here was a chance to be manly men! (and manly girls!) To get our hands in it! To take an active part in the food we eat!  I mean for Christ's sake-  we're Mainers!  Who live in Alaska and Wyoming respectively!  This is what we do!!

Until this happened:

Somehow the bird had been squashed into its ziplock bag in such a way that it appeared to be sleeping peacefully.  It was beautiful, it was tranquil.  And now the reality of tearing it apart with bare-hands and eating it did not seem quite so romantic anymore.

But, where I failed to consider the law of inertia when snowboarding years ago, I was aware of it now.  This thing was in motion, and it was staying in motion until it was done.

Luckily my intrepid young Sullivan was into it, that helped.  He seemed pretty eager to destroy this bird (after he played with it for a while of course).  He even begged to be the one to cut its head off, wanting to see its brains. (more on that in a bit).

Sully plays with his food

So the time had come.  After consulting the YouTube and considering the advice of friends we had a strategy.  Jeff went for it.  His bravery will go down as the stuff of legend.  Also, the innards of a sage grouse smell awful.  We should all be congratulated for not barfing all over the place.

NO SURRENDER

And here, for the brave amongst you, is the video of what happens 

when you tear a grouse apart with your bare hands.

There's not a ton of meat on this thing, so Jeff had the great idea to go for an appetizer.  So folks, we present Wild Organic Wyoming Sage Grouse Jalapeno poppers wrapped in turkey bacon.

The verdict?  It was delicious   It tasted like liver and chicken combined.  And the best part?  None of us died or suffered any digestive discomfort at all.  Would I do this again?  Perhaps, but I might need Jeff to come back to do the dirty work.  Perhaps I could entice him with his own dedicated box of Franzia Chardonnay.

Wash away the carnage El Jefe, you deserve it!

 

Now, back to my darling, sweet Sully who turned into an adventurous eater and possible future hunter and/or mortician.  Those of you with pacemakers or a weak stomach should just go ahead and quit reading now.

So Sully really wanted to cut the head off the dead bird with scissors.  And I let him,  why not?  Its more educational than an episode of Sponge Bob and it seemed to make him happy (as indicated by the extremely loud hooting and hollering this endeavor created).  The head properly severed, Sully was still not satisfied.  He wanted to see the brain.  He's in Kindergarten, he's still years away from dissecting helpless animals in school, so I figured why not.   But of course, I don't want Sully handling the severed head and trying to navigate the sharp kitchen shears through the bird skull on his own,  because you know, THAT'S what seemed crazy to me.  So it became my turn to do some damage to this thing.

Full of bravado and adrenaline with Sully bouncing with excitement, I went for it.  Holding the head with tongs, I cut into the birds skull with a crunch.  As I did this,  the damn thing's eye popped open, looking moist and alive, as if to say "really dude?  Have I not been through enough?"  After shrieking and running out of the room, I collected myself and finished the job.  All in the name of science of course.  So folks, if you've made it this far, and you're still willing to disgust yourself with my antics, I am pleased to present to you:  Bird Brain: a crude, crude cross section that Mike would like to point out greatly resembles some of JFK's autopsy photos.   

You're welcome.

Labor Day In America

On labor day, my mind is wandering to childhood memories of business after business, industry after industry in Maine being bought up and sold off by companies like Bain Capital.  Evening newscasts of hardworking people who had given their lifetimes for American manufacturing,  watching in disbelief as their way of life was decimated so guys like Romney could amass absurd fortunes.  The only thing more shocking than him saying that he "knows how to fix business" is that people actually believe him.  If this is the cream of the republican crop, believe me when I tell you, I'm voting for the invisible guy in the chair.

Today the news is full of people asking Democratic strategists if they think the American people are better off than they were four years ago.  The Dems, in their typical fashion are hesitant to give a black and white answer to a black and white question that doesn't even begin to honor the complexity and severity of the economic situation we have found ourselves in over the past 11 years and over the course of the last two presidents.

If Obama was a republican, and if his strategists were as eager to shove a line of bullshit down our throats as the actual republicans they would answer with an unequivocal YES and then refuse to offer any details to support their nonsense.  But Dems don't do that because they know things are not so simple.

I'd be happy to answer the question from my own family's perspective: Of course we are better off than we were 4 years ago.  Thanks to the Obama administration and their tax credits for higher education, I have been able to return to school and am well on my way to a degree that will ensure my family's economic stability in the years to come.  My husband, who is a type 1 diabetic no longer has to be concerned with insurance companies denying him coverage or excluding his treatment for extended periods of time.  (and trust me, as I know from experience that the insurance companies would claim a broken leg was somehow related to his diabetes and refuse to cover the cost). These are but two examples of how our position in life has improved in the years since Obama has been running the show.

I get that there are fundamental differences of opinion on the role of government in our lives.  To be frank, I'd probably be more apt to vote republican if republican leaders actually did the things that they say they believe in.  But they don't.  Instead, they pick guys like Romney, who expects me to consider his success as honorable when I know that he has only succeeded by destroying what others have built with their own labor.  Why should I, a working class girl with a brain (and a 3.947 GPA in economics and accounting) do that?  I just can't because its offensive. Pure and simple.  I can't and I won't.

I hope this country does the right thing and sees through this nonsense.

I found this article to be an easy to read and understand explanation of the concept of venture capitalism.  If I live to be a 100, I'll never understand why this country is so eager to celebrate stories like this guy's.  I just can't understand how destroying others in pursuit of your own endless greed is somehow transformed into some rags to riches story to be excited about.

http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/news/greed-and-debt-the-true-story-of-mitt-romney-and-bain-capital-20120829